Thanks for the invitation.

It’s really very kind.

But there’s this thing I have to do

I hope that you don’t mind.

Of course, I’d love to do the thing,

That’s where I’d want to be.

It’s really so unfortunate

That I just can’t be free.


Thanks for the invitation.

I wish that I could go.

It’s just that I’ll be busy

So, it’s a solid “no”.

I’ve got to hem my curtains.

I have to wash my dog.

I’m pretty sure that that’s when I’m

Upholstering a log.


Thanks for the invitation.

I’ll see what I can do.

I absolutely really want

To spend some time with you.

I’ll definitely be there

If I can find my shoes

And if there’s nothing vital

That’s breaking on the news.


Thanks for the invitation.

I wish I had the time.

The second week in August

Is when I take up mime.

But please feel free to visit,

Just text me on the day.

In case by some coincidence.

I’ve had to go away.


Excuse, excuses!

I’d help you but I’m busy;

I’m washing my hair.

I’m watching my programme,

I’m saving this chair.

I’m doing this crossword,

I’m surfing the net.

I’ll help you in a minute

But I can’t do it yet.

I’m no good at painting

I’d ruin your wall.

I’d put up those curtains

But I’m not very tall.

I’d wash up the dishes

But I’ve just done my nails.

I’m feeling quite fragile

Since I stood on the scales.

I just cannot focus!

You’d be better alone.

I’m thinking of hashtags,

I’m still on the phone.

Of course I can help you.

I’ll be there at 8,

But just start without me

If it turns out I’m late.

‘Cause sometimes the car breaks,

I might lose my way.

If it rains I won’t be there,

And I just have to say

I must avoid sunshine,

And I don’t do ‘cold’,

Because they give you wrinkles

Or so I’ve been told.

It’s probably better

If I just tell you now

I won’t help because

I’m a right selfish cow!