Real Life Blues

Woke up this morning,

Didn’t know what to do,

Checked the BBC to see

If we’re still gonna leave the EU.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

 

Turned on the kettle,

Put the toast on my plate,

But I’m all out of teabags

So the drink will have to wait.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

 

Logged onto Twitter,

To look for some jokes,

Now I’ve been insulted

By seven random blokes.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

 

I checked my emails,

For offers of work,

But it’s mostly just LinkedIn

Trying to get me to follow some jerk.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

 

Turned on the TV,

To watch something light,

When quite without warning,

Mrs Brown comes into my sight.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

 

So I went out walking,

To clear my head,

I wish I’d been careful

‘Cause I stepped in some dog crap instead.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

 

Gave up on the day.

Lay down to sleep.

But as I was drifting off

My alarm just started to beep.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

 

I woke up this morning,

Like I already said.

If I’d had any sense at all

I’d have stayed in my lovely warm bed.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the real life blues.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the wasted day blues.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The ‘Didn’t Vote’ Blues

Woke up this morning

Intending to vote

But the weather was cold

And I just couldn’t find my coat.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.


Right after breakfast

I meant to hit the polls,

But I thought I’d better stay in

And wash the breakfast bowls.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.


Just around noontime

I decided to make my cross

But my teeth were really dirty

So I was busy with the floss.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.


I would have voted

When I had eaten lunch

But I had to watch my favourite soap;

It was heading for a crunch.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.


Mid-afternoon, I thought

“I’d better get it done!”

But a quiz came on the TV

And I was having too much fun.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.


Dinner time crept up on me.

You know, it’s not a crime

To be late to the polling station

And I still had loads of time.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.


And then, before I knew it,

There was nothing I could do.

I’d never make it round there

Before voting time was through.

I’ve got the blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

I’ve got the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.


So, listen to my story.

It’s a sad one and it’s true.

I hope you never let the same thing

Happen to you too.

You’ll have the blues.

You’ll have the ‘didn’t vote’ blues.

You’ll have the ‘didn’t make my voice heard and now I can’t bitch’ blues.

Twitter Blues

Woke up this morning.  I lay in my bed.

The thought of getting out of it

Just filled me with some kind of dread.

I force myself to the keyboard

And I search right through my head,

But every thing I want to say has already been said!

 

 I got the blues!

Oh, yes, I got the blues!

I got the ‘can’t think of something new to say on Twitter’ blues!

 

I could riff on the rules of Fight Club.  That’s got to be worth a try.

But I’m not allowed to talk about that!

It makes me want to cry!

Or a horse could walk into a bar,

The barman’s got something to say

About someone’s long face, it’s just a disgrace!

There must be a better way!

 

I got the blues!

Oh, yes, I got the blues!

I got the ‘can’t think of something new to say on Twitter’ blues!

 

So I read through the news for material

And an article catches my eye.

It involves a Tory minister

And the thoughts begin to fly!

I type in a kind of fever

‘Til I’m happy I got it all right!

But then somebody writes “ You can’t tweet that!

I did that one last night!”

 

I got the blues!

Oh, yes, I got the blues!

I got the ‘can’t think of something new to say on Twitter’ blues! 

 

I got the blues!

Oh, yes, I got the blues!

I got the ‘can’t think of a single thing that ain’t already been said on Twitter blues’!

Oh Yeaaaahh!