I’ve never been cool,

And I never will.

I wouldn’t even know where to start.

My clothes are not chic,

It’s often been said,

But I don’t ever take it to heart.


I don’t have that air

Of artistic style

That cooler people seem to exude.

And when they decide

Who to let in their clique.

I’m not the type that they would include.


My hobbies aren’t those

Admired by the hip.

My pastimes are decidedly tame.

There’s daytime TV

Or Radio 4,

And Scrabble is my favourite game.


Don’t want to be cool,

It wouldn’t be right.

In fact, I’d say it would be absurd.

I’d rather be me,

Transparent and drab,

But mistress of the 7-letter word.

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