Trends (A poem incorporating a Twitter trending list)

On Twitter, there’s a golden rule,

To break it you must be a fool:

Stay in the safety of your friends,

Avoid exploring breaking trends.

For there be dragons, trolls and hate

Pedants and know-alls lie in wait.

A brief scan down the list will show

There’s not that much you’d care to know:

Bill Clinton raging at the crowd,

No Star Wars spoilers are allowed.

Ken Livingstone’s not paid his tax

(His book-keeping must be quite lax).

The IPL opening ceremony,

For cricket fans a better day than many,

Showed some style with joie de vivre

And more acts than you would believe.

On Ladies Day at Aintree races

Women show their pristine faces,

Framed with feathers, jewels and net,

Quite the fascinating set.

Pope Francis, from the holy Vatican

Showed the waiting people that he can

Tell his church to stop its messing,

Give all its people every blessing,

Divorced or separate, gay or straight,

Don’t hold your breath, there’ll be a wait.

Some call for our PM to quit

“Resign Cameron!” (He’s in the shit!)

No Friday feeling, I surmise

In Number 10 where Cameron lies.

It’s not all gloom, I’ve been too hasty

Some tweeters can make Motown tasty,

Smokey Bacon Robinson

And Lionel Rich Tea follow on.

Will Dortmund lose to LFC?

I hope so, but let’s wait and see.

Remember, if your timeline’s cosy,

The trends are best left to the nosy!twitter

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