Sporty Me!

I’ll never be an athlete,

I’ve left it rather late.

I couldn’t have been anyway,

It’s clearly not my fate.

I’d never make a runner

Who pounds the lonely street.

I barely have control over

My large ungainly feet.

I couldn’t be a cyclist,

Careering round the drome;

I’d only do one circuit

Then turn the wheels to home.

I couldn’t be a gymnast

And flip across the mat,

Especially in Lycra as

It won’t conceal my fat.

I couldn’t be a swimmer,

I can’t perfect a stroke

And tend to swallow as I swim,

Which causes me to choke.

You’ll never find me leaping

About a tennis court.

My only hope is if they say

That sarcasm’s a sport.

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