He’s the man on everybody’s tweets
And yet he is a mystery
What will be said about young Ed
When someone writes his history?
For no-one knows the many things
That he has done in secret,
So let us take a moment to
List all ‘til he deletes it.
‘Twas Ed who wrote all Shakespeare’s verse
From Puck to Desdemona,
He rescued Ernest Hemingway
From goring in Pamplona.
He sang the chord that David lost
In a voice that goes right through ya.
So Leonard Cohen borrowed it
And called it Hallelujah.
He taught Paul Hollywood to bake
And also Mary Berry.
He was the first to slice up bread
And he’s BOTH Ben AND Jerry!
If you think Brian Cox is smart
He’s not a patch on Ed!
He solved Fermat’s last theorem
And he did it in his head!
He taught Dame Margot Fonteyn
And Nureyev to dance.
He designed the maze at Hampton Court
And M.C. Hammer’s pants.
When Moriarty was pulled down
The cold Reichenbach Falls
It wasn’t really Holmes at all
The hero was Ed Balls.
So let us all give thanks for Ed
On this, his special day.
And think of all his wondrous deeds
That cause us all to say:
Without Ed Balls where would we be?
What tweets would we be writing?
Suarez, horsemeat, Triple A?
Ed’s so much more exciting!
This is about Ed Balls, a British politician who accidentally tweeted his own name and has been mercilessly ribbed about it ever since. The topic was suggested by Paolo Albertella since Twitter is celebrating Ed Balls Day!