A song for David Cameron (Apologies to Jarvis Cocker) Tune: Common People by Pulp

He went to Eton, Daddy bought him knowledge.
He studied PPE at Brasenose College.

It was free! With no fee!
He never accepts criticism,

He just makes a stab at witticism

And says Halt!

It’s the other party’s fault!

Then he says Talk to me like common people.
I go without like other common people do,

Call me Dave like common people. I’m in it with the common people like you.
Well, what else could I do – I said ‘I, I don’t believe that’s true!’

I took him to a local food bank

Because it’s part of his ‘Big Society’,

A place where food is free,
I said, These people have no dinner,

He just laughed and said, They’d look better thinner.
I said Yeah? Well they look like they’re all thin enough to me.
Are you sure

You go without like common people?
You think you see whatever common people see?
We call you Dave like common people,
But you’re not in it like common people like me.
But he didn’t say a word it was like he hadn’t heard.

Don’t give all benefits the chop,

Cut the crap and make more jobs.
Make the millionaires pay tax.

You give them perks behind our backs.
But because you’re on the right,

Your party’s mostly rich and white
So when you say you’ll make things fair,

We know you’ll pay your mates ‘cos you really don’t care.

You’ll never care for common people.
You’ll cut the funds for all things common people do.
You’re sick to death of common people
Because they seldom vote for people like you,

And the other Tories who
Do the stupid things that you do.

Listen to the common people,

For a change and their words just might get thru’
Spare a thought for the common people.
They’re in a mess and it’s partly because of you. 

And the selfish things that you do.
Because you think the poor are fools!

You want to take from common people,

You want to blame the common people! Repeat to end.

2 thoughts on “A song for David Cameron (Apologies to Jarvis Cocker) Tune: Common People by Pulp

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