Poem Noir

I can see her in the lamplight,

Red hair and kitten heels,

A cigarette smokes in her hand,

I know just how it feels.

I’d love to go and say hello,

And ask her for a drink,

But I’ve watched this dame for days and nights

And she’s hovering on the brink.

I was hired by her husband,

Who’s a low-down dirty rat,

But he’s got the folding green stuff,

And I’d like a bit of that.

To keep me in neat bourbon,

To help me pay the rent,

‘Cause I have to dodge the landlord,

And believe me, he’s no gent.

There’s a scar across his knuckles

From the last time that we met,

If he sees my empty hands again

I know just what I’ll get.

So I’m following this beauty,

‘Til I catch her with a guy,

And I get a coupla photos,

‘Cause a photo doesn’t lie.

As I pull my coat around me,

Dip my brim against the cold,

I can tell you guys this ain’t no life

When you’re starting to feel old.

I wish I had a woman,

Waiting home for me at night,

Who would cook for me and love me,

Keep me warm and treat me right.

But I’m scraping round these alleys,

Where nobody knows my name.

And I’m stuck out in the freezing night

Watching someone else’s dame.

42 thoughts on “Poem Noir

  1. Great grasp of the voice. I always enjoy a bit of noir. Wonder what you’d do with some fiction in this tone…?

  2. “And I get a coupla photos,
    ‘Cause a photo doesn’t lie.”

    We you sure got the patter down, and stopped on a dime…anyone who wants to romance the life of this private dick.

    Good go.

    • Thanks, Doug. I had fun writing it. The NaPoWriMo prompts are a good idea and have made me try things I wouldn’t have thought of. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

      • I seldom do the prompts. But see you have fun and flows and shows. Looking forward to more of your stuff.


  3. I don’t do them every day either. I think I’ve used 3. I didn’t use one today because I just had something I wanted to write. I think if I have something in my head I would always use that before a prompt.

    • Well thank you for that. It’s good of you to take the time to comment. This was written from a prompt to give the poem a ‘noir’ feel. It was fun to write but I have no inside knowledge of private detectives’ lives, sadly. 🙂

  4. Tried to “like” it again as this is the second time I read your “noir”, but it tricked me and “unliked” it instead, so I got to “like” it three times. Very clever and enjoyable to read as all is done “right:” scansion, rhyme, humor, fresh phraseology. Suddenly I feel like an unreformed English teacher, but praise needs to be given where it is due. Thanks also, as usual, for stopping by my blog.

  5. That sounds like things I’ve done. My laptop is so slow I think it hasn’t worked so I click again just as it changes! 🙂 I enjoyed your new post. You have a wonderful, relaxed style. I’m glad to have brought out your inner English teacher: better out than in!

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