I promise that I thought of you when I saw the jumping flame.
And when I had to choose a prayer, I chose to speak your name.
Rejoicing all around me, but I can’t escape the fear
That I’ll never see your face again, that I’ll never feel you near.
I think of you so often. When I’m reading a new book,
I reach to pick the phone up, to suggest you take a look.
I always think you’d like it because we share a certain taste,
The unread books I’ve picked for you are our own peculiar waste.
You used to be the older one, now I’ve caught you up. And more.
But in my head you’re like you were a long, long time before.
Before that damned disease took hold and trapped you in your mind.
Before you had to leave your possibilities behind.
Your hair is black, your skin is brown, your words are light, but keen.
You joke and laugh, you tell me tales of places you have been.
You’re happy, young and free of pain. You’re what you’re meant to be.
Forever my big brother. And a treasured part of me.